The baby is ten months!

Honestly, time flies. It’s so crazy! If you asked me what I’ve been doing for the past 10 months I could not tell you, apart from nursing, staying up all night, trying to pull myself together during the day and watching the baby grow.

He’s so big. I really feel anxious about the fact that now I am officially old, the next generation is here, and he’ll keep growing and I’m a parent.

Crazy, right?

I never thought I’d want to parent. It’s been a rollercoaster ride, but now that he’s bigger things are kind of starting to calm down. I feel like a failure a lot, but I’ve heard all moms do, so nothing new there.

I am trying to decide what I want to do with my life, but nothing new there either.

Right now I want some tiramisu. I’m trying to go vegan but these random cravings are effing it up for me.

I am kind of finally starting to feel like a mom. I don’t know what that’s really like otherwise because I have had a weird relationship with mine, but I now get to choose what kind of mommy I’ll be and it’s kind of fun. I get anxious when he cries in public but then I’m like whatever, fuck them, I don’t care what people think about me. I care for him the best I can with my limited abilities and he’ll be fine.

I can’t shelter him from everything and that’s fine too.

He’ll be a good boy.

M

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2 thoughts on “The baby is ten months!

  1. Miss you. Sorry we didn’t manage to connect last time we tried to chat. Maybe we can try again over Xmas.

    I can’t believe its been TEN months already. Parenting is stressful like nothing else is, but also such a joy. Especially when they get older and get more independent. Xoxox

    • I have been trying to reply to this comment from my phone and it doesn’t work! Had to log in on the computer to be able to say hi and I know it’s been a while and I also don’t have your number anymore, my phone broke and the new one only reloaded super old data from the cloud….

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