I’m back!

Oh gosh, I mean to post every day and just can’t.

Depression, exhaustion, baby, laziness, sheer overwhelming feelings. Everything seems too much and I can’t even type down my thoughts. I wish I had the energy to blog every day because I think it would help me, but I can’t.

Hmm what’s happened. Baby M will be 9 months old tomorrow. Time flies! I am still not working. Did I mention my job let me go? I was working from home until they fired me. Trying to get unemployment but it’s taking long, they’re fighting it and next step is a phone mediation meeting between me and them and the Department of Economic Opportunity. It’s all fucked up. Unemployment in Florida is nothing anyway, no one could actually live on it. It’s fucked up they give employers so much power. It shouldn’t be up to them to decide if I get money for a few months or not! Fucking fuckers.

Looking for jobs.

Depressed.

Watching a lot of documentaries and series on Netflix.

Worried about baby and his development. I’m not good enough mom.

Gaining a lot of weight.

Over a year since hubs and I had sex. We have no intimacy. Lots of issues but they’ve been brushed under the carpet. We’re parents now. Baby comes first.

In therapy. Last therapist quit and I’m seeing someone new. I like her.

We took a trip to Finland to see my family and it went really well! I am coming to a lot of realizations about my home and my people and I realized I wish my mother was here to help out with baby. I like how she was with him. Very laid back and natural. I like Scandinavian values and child rearing.

Okay that’s all I can write for now. Exhausted.

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