39 Weeks

It’s almost time. I can hardly sleep. Or work. Or really do anything without thinking about the baby and how everything will change in an instant.

I’ll have a human being to care for. I’m not really a caring person! I’ve been on my own so long that I’ve become fiercely self centered and I crave control and need independence.

My husbands reaction to me saying hey I’m becoming domesticated because I spent the whole of Sunday cleaning? “You do what you want to do anyway.” 

I guess I do. But in my defense, it’s at least productive and wifey type stuff! I could be out drinking every night! But it’s true, I do what I want to do.

We have our final couples therapy session tomorrow before the baby comes. I was meant to see the psychiatrist too but I had to cancel as I felt anxious about being away for three hours in the middle of the day.

People pleaser. Yup I am. Always anxious about the what ifs? Yes that’s me.

Gosh, about a week left and the baby will be here. We have no names yet. Lots of arguments about the last name. Lots.

Better try sleep.

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