My Life Will Never Be The Same Again

  
I know lots of things can change a person’s life.

I’m sure my life was never the same after my dad molested me for the first time (I don’t remember though). 

I do remember being sexually assaulted in my early 20s and I think that changed a lot of me.

Also, when my pony (my only friend, my love, my companion and the only soul on the planet who I felt understood me and loved me) was put down, I was never the same again. I realized death could be so close, and you’re never guaranteed to have someone in your life forever.

I think surviving the car crash changed me dramatically, getting married had an effect on me, and having an abortion changed a lot of how I think. These have been these huge life-altering events, yet I think having a baby kind of trumps all of that.

I envy women who never want to have children. It’s a blessing for the world to have women who stand up and decide to not conform to a stereotype that a woman needs to have children. I feel these women want to live life for themselves and that’s so awesome!!

I never thought I’d have a child (as I’ve said many times) yet here I am, about to pop.

So many thoughts. Worries!! Is it too late to change my mind??????

Am I ready for this change??

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