Heartburn and other pregnancy symptoms 

I am once again writing this post on the bus. People actually got up and gave me a seat which is nice!

I am just over 37 weeks pregnant and I guess the time to deliver is hearingn each day. I really pray and hope and wish that I won’t go into labor on public transit!

I’m sure it happens, though.

I am so fed up with work. I don’t know how much I’ve talked about it before but I work at a small marketing agency, I started the job the day after I found out I was pregnant, and of course couldn’t tell them then but I since had to as I had long doctors appointments and they started wondering what was wrong with me. 

And that’s when the downhill started. I saw two 21-year-olds that I’d started with get promoted before me, I have endured people’s remarks (they think they’re funny, I think they’re being insensitive about pregnancy) and all kinds of shit like that.

I’m now stuck working “with” (she thinks “for”) a girl whose first job this is out of college yet who runs things around here and who is constantly telling me what I’m  doing wrong. I have so much stress because of her that I’ve developed a bad case of heartburn and stress.

Which brings me to my topic: pregnancy symptoms. 

So here’s the deal: I’m a very hardy person who did my own groceries on foot for two months when I had a broken leg (ok this was in London and to be fair I lived about 20-minute hobble away from a grocery store), I’ve always been very down to earth and not about that comfortable life. I despise people who drive everywhere when they could walk and turn my nose up at laziness (I’m sorry I’m just being honest) 

However, this pregnancy is almost defeating me! 

It took me a whole day to vacuum, do laundry, mop, and clean yesterday and I regularly had to sit down when my back and feet started hurting so much I couldn’t go on! 

Our washing machine is on the first floor and for the first time I took the elevator. I could not carry this massive load down the stairs anymore! And it fucks with my head. 

I don’t like being weak. Not being able to carry heavy loads or run on the treadmill or do jump squats is disheartening for me. I’ve never been skinny (except when I had anorexia) so it’s not that, it just gets to me have my physical body change so much it’s not me anymore.

Swollen feet and not being able to wear anything but Havaianas, heartburn, ligament pains that wake you up, and looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a puffy face with serious wrinkles.

Sigh. 

I guess I’m getting off easy as I don’t have diabetes or pre eclampsia or sciatica or…any other number of ailments, but to me this feels like a prison. And what if I don’t lose the weight???

Here’s a picture of my feet. Thank you for reading.

  

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7 thoughts on “Heartburn and other pregnancy symptoms 

  1. The last four weeks are the worst! I was taking public transit when I was pregnant too and also often worried about going into labour on the damn bus! (Don’t worry, you will probably know something is up with enough time to be elsewhere. I was in early labour for a whole day and still got to the hospital before my water broke). The physical drain on your system right now is enormous so don’t you beat yourself up for not being able to run around and get everything done. A lot of your resources are being taken up by the baby right now and it’s very, very taxing. You can’t be expected to lug laundry up and down the stairs when your poor body is trying to support two people. (Hugs)

    You will lost weight after the first few months, plus, it feels wonderful to be immediately smaller after birth. The initial weight vanishes very quickly. I still looked six months pregnant after Colt and was mortified but it vanished very quickly to my relief.

    Ok. Enough encouragement. Lol. I’m sorry. I just meant to say I know it sucks. You will get your freedom and body back soon my friend. Xox

    Oh and fuck that little priss at your work. She’s probably jealous and overcompensating by trying to be bossy. I hate that type.

    • Oh my gosh once again you made my day! I love how you’re on my side about the girl at work, it gives me faith that I’m not completely crazy because I’m sure everyone has someone to complain about but often the fault is in themselves but really I’m not the only one in this office who can’t stand her. In fact, I don’t think anyone can. When she was off for a week everyone could actually breathe…I thought people liked her but I had a chat with one of the graphic designers and he was like hell no, no one can stand her because she’s pretending like she runs the place and the bosses let her and no one can stand her stanky attitude!

      Anyway, thank you for the encouragement, I am now more confident in going to work as I probably won’t have to give birth on the bus. In any case M is one call away and if something happens he can get to me in 20 minutes max. I still haven’t packed a bag though which I probably should do…I can’t believe you did it too, and to labor that long…ugh. I have heard it’s no walk in the park! I’m happy to hear you felt light, and that the weight came off, I guess I’m worried about looking pregnant and not being pregnant, if you know what I mean.

      In a way I am enjoying this change, it’s very…feminine. Only women can do what we do, and it feels strangely satisfying to watch the belly grow and to feel him kick and to start feeling like one with the baby. I don’t think I’ve had the most usual pregnancy in that I don’t feel like he is a part of me, it’s more like ok there’s something in my tummy, whereas I think some women sing and talk to their babies and really get into this whole thing. I’m kind of practical…like this seemed like a good idea, having a baby, and I’ll make the best of it.

      • You know, I don’t think I had that sort of bond with Colt before he was born either. I worried a lot because I couldn’t feel a clear sense of love or protection for him before he was born and I though it was maybe because I had lost my mother so young I hadn’t developed the mothering instincts some women talk about. It scared the hell out of me, for a while. Even right after he was born all I could think was “oh my god what have I done! I made a little human who is dependent on me for everything and I can barely take care of myself!” but….it didn’t take long. In his first months I fell in love with that screaming, miserable little baby and he’s turned into such an amazing and wonderful person who I could not even imagine my life without. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I love being a mom more than I ever dreamed I could.

        My point is, don’t worry. You are going to be a great mom and he’s going to be a wonderful addition to your world for the rest of your life.

        I’m going to write you an email shortly. xx

    • Oh and you know what’s best about taking the bus? I have time to read your blog! I installed the WordPress app finally on my phone and it’s wonderful to have posts pop up when I open it! I think I follow only two blogs or three so you’re always on my screen and my thoughts now 🙂

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