I am once again writing this post on the bus. People actually got up and gave me a seat which is nice!
I am just over 37 weeks pregnant and I guess the time to deliver is hearingn each day. I really pray and hope and wish that I won’t go into labor on public transit!
I’m sure it happens, though.
I am so fed up with work. I don’t know how much I’ve talked about it before but I work at a small marketing agency, I started the job the day after I found out I was pregnant, and of course couldn’t tell them then but I since had to as I had long doctors appointments and they started wondering what was wrong with me.
And that’s when the downhill started. I saw two 21-year-olds that I’d started with get promoted before me, I have endured people’s remarks (they think they’re funny, I think they’re being insensitive about pregnancy) and all kinds of shit like that.
I’m now stuck working “with” (she thinks “for”) a girl whose first job this is out of college yet who runs things around here and who is constantly telling me what I’m doing wrong. I have so much stress because of her that I’ve developed a bad case of heartburn and stress.
Which brings me to my topic: pregnancy symptoms.
So here’s the deal: I’m a very hardy person who did my own groceries on foot for two months when I had a broken leg (ok this was in London and to be fair I lived about 20-minute hobble away from a grocery store), I’ve always been very down to earth and not about that comfortable life. I despise people who drive everywhere when they could walk and turn my nose up at laziness (I’m sorry I’m just being honest)
However, this pregnancy is almost defeating me!
It took me a whole day to vacuum, do laundry, mop, and clean yesterday and I regularly had to sit down when my back and feet started hurting so much I couldn’t go on!
Our washing machine is on the first floor and for the first time I took the elevator. I could not carry this massive load down the stairs anymore! And it fucks with my head.
I don’t like being weak. Not being able to carry heavy loads or run on the treadmill or do jump squats is disheartening for me. I’ve never been skinny (except when I had anorexia) so it’s not that, it just gets to me have my physical body change so much it’s not me anymore.
Swollen feet and not being able to wear anything but Havaianas, heartburn, ligament pains that wake you up, and looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a puffy face with serious wrinkles.
I guess I’m getting off easy as I don’t have diabetes or pre eclampsia or sciatica or…any other number of ailments, but to me this feels like a prison. And what if I don’t lose the weight???
Here’s a picture of my feet. Thank you for reading.