Thoughts of Dying…

I’ve reached a point where I can’t take life anymore. I’m so tired of trying.

I’m tired of sadness.

I’m tired of hopelessness.

I’m trying of getting my hopes up and being happy for a second and then having something happen that brings me back to deep deep deep sadness.

I’m tired of feeling alone.

I think I’ve always been alone, in essence, but every now and then people who’ve come by my life have fleetingly made me believe I wasn’t alone, only to let me down.

I’m also tired of letting people down.

I’m tired of disappointments.

I’m tired of heartache, and I’m tired of wishing I could turn back the clock and not make the decisions I made that brought me here.

Tired, but can’t sleep. Been a while since I really slept. I just exist and go through the motions but I feel numb and can’t stop crying.

I don’t even hate everything anymore, I’m too numb to feel anything but an immense amount of pain in my heart that will never go away.

I feel a big black cloud has been following me since I was very very young, and that’s my curse, my pain that I must live with.

But what if I’m just too tired to live with it?


One thought on “Thoughts of Dying…

  1. Keep fighting ! You can overcome any obstacle. The will to live is ingrained in us as human beings. Plus you may think of the other little reason that wants you to live too. I pray that your tomorrow will be a better day.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s