I am so tired of everything that when I found a $599 flight to England I booked it and I am so going! I only get 5 days off this year and I fully intend to take every second of it.
The trip is 6 weeks away so it’s not like I’m going anytime soon, but I’m already planning it. I miss London so much!! Even the weather, I miss the weather…
And as per freaking always, I’m looking for jobs. I’m so miserable where I’m at and it’s really affecting me, I’m getting depressed (well I’ve always been depressed so it’s nothing new).
I try to get energy to apply but it’s tough. I don’t even work out anymore, I just come home from work and go straight to bed, I spend a LOT of time in bed. Even writing this post takes energy. That’s why I barely ever blog because I just never have energy.
I hate my job. I know in my heart that I’m too experienced and too educated and too smart for the job, but they treat me like I need to be babied around and it sucks ass to be 31 and be treated like I’m 15.
I have ambition, but my depression and low self esteem keeps me from my dreams.
I can’t even fix my resume and every time I get a rejection I get really sad.
I just feel really shit right now, we argued about the baby with M and I realize that he knows nothing about who I am or where I come from and it gets me so sad that I wanna cut myself all over and puke and run until everywhere hurts, but I’m so fat and lazy that I just plop myself on the bed and eat to my misery.