Trip to London and Applying for Jobs

I am so tired of everything that when I found a $599 flight to England I booked it and I am so going! I only get 5 days off this year and I fully intend to take every second of it.

The trip is 6 weeks away so it’s not like I’m going anytime soon, but I’m already planning it. I miss London so much!! Even the weather, I miss the weather…

And as per freaking always, I’m looking for jobs. I’m so miserable where I’m at and it’s really affecting me, I’m getting depressed (well I’ve always been depressed so it’s nothing new).

I try to get energy to apply but it’s tough. I don’t even work out anymore, I just come home from work and go straight to bed, I spend a LOT of time in bed. Even writing this post takes energy. That’s why I barely ever blog because I just never have energy.

I hate my job. I know in my heart that I’m too experienced and too educated and too smart for the job, but they treat me like I need to be babied around and it sucks ass to be 31 and be treated like I’m 15.

I have ambition, but my depression and low self esteem keeps me from my dreams.

I can’t even fix my resume and every time I get a rejection I get really sad.

I just feel really shit right now, we argued about the baby with M and I realize that he knows nothing about who I am or where I come from and it gets me so sad that I wanna cut myself all over and puke and run until everywhere hurts, but I’m so fat and lazy that I just plop myself on the bed and eat to my misery.


4 thoughts on “Trip to London and Applying for Jobs

  1. Don’t give up keep fighting. You can overcome. You’re inspiring to me I still have not left my house I have not worked in years because of my fear of going out in public. I go to school online, I spend 6 days inside and I only leave the house early in the morning on the weekend to do grocery. You are so strong and brave. You can do it, I know you can.

    • Oh honey, your words touched me so deeply, I cannot even thank you enough for the strength you express through your words. I am so so so sorry that your fear is keeping you inside the four walls, but I am so proud of you for studying, for going out to get those groceries, for figuring out YOUR way of getting through life with what you’re dealing with. I wish you happiness and small steps of success, lots of laughter and continuous victories in your journey. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here x

      • Thank you that means a lot to me… I am here for you too…. I myself am going through it…. But I will thrive even now and so will you. We can do this!! Thanks again.

      • Yes!!! I love your positive attitude in the face of so much stuff that would drive anyone to be negative…Me included! I am a very negative and angry and pissed off person so I commend you for being so positive!!! That is amazing.

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