Wine Makes Me Think Crazy

Apologies, I’m drunk. I felt like drinking earlier tonight and a bottle of wine later I’m listening to sad songs on Youtube and reminiscing my past.

Wow. I can’t believe how much has happened!?! I was in a relationship in London, England, for three years, then broke up during a horrid argument, fell for a workmate thousands of miles away, visited, fell hard, and got married. A year and a half later I’m living in Miami, still “unemployed” and a wife and a mom to a Chihuahua.

I’m seeing two therapists – one trauma specialist and one at a community mental health center.

I am really blessed to have gotten this opportunity – both are low cost and both are very effective. I feel like I am healing like never before.

It’s not easy either. I keep thinking about what I had in my previous life. My little life in London. I had friends, I had a boy whom I loved more than life but with whom things were really difficult, I had a career kind of thing going on, I had an income at least, I was standing on my two own feet.

I have none of that here. I am completely dependent on my husband M who left his job last year, took another worse job, quit that, sat at home unemployed for a couple of months before going back to the first job.

London…My home for years and years. Home. Hoooooome. I miss it every single day. The cold winter mornings, the after-work drinks, the Tube, the walks along the river Thames…Home.

Miami. My new home. My new relationship, my new therapy, my new life. Will I ever settle down?

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