It is hitting me hard…Today is the last day I’ll be in the office and on Monday I will fly out of London for good! Yikes! Shit is getting real right about now….
After years of terrible shared housing situation, crap office job, a relationship that ended even though we loved each other but just were not compatible in so many ways, London has become a no-option for me and I’ve resigned, worked my notice and am now on my way out!
I’m going to Finland first – the country of my birth where all the shit happened when I was a child, so I still have a lot of resentment towards the country and am wondering how I’ll cope out there.
I have recently made a new friend through this blog and I have to say that I am super grateful for these meaningful encounters where – because you know each other through very honest and raw blog posts – you already are over that hurdle or “oh I need to be perfect for someone to like me as a friend” and just chat as people with something in common!
I am forever grateful for you all who read the random shit I post, and especially those who take time out to comment! I always feel blessed and happy when a stranger is positive or encouraging – makes me feel like the world isn’t such a terrible place after all!
So many emotions….So many thoughts…So much missing my ex yet I’ve moved on also…It is weird to move on when you still love someone else, but that’s just how my crazy life operates :O
Still wanting to work on my healing, still feeling crazy and lonely and hopeless a lot of the time, but as I will hit 30 this year, I realize time is precious, my life is precious, and for me, it is not worth spending the rest of my life as a victim. I want to be strong and independent! I want to heal – hey well no one is perfect, but…might as well attempt to function and be happy and satisfied with life, right?
I have my days. I have my moments. I have a lot of emotional pain that I harbor but…I hope the next steps that I take in life will somehow bring about happiness….
Have a beautiful day! I’m off to a bar for after-work drinks to celebrate my impending unemployment and start of an adventure!