I have been so ill

Apologies for not posting in a loooong time – I got quite sick all of a sudden and have had no energy to do anything but try to get better…..

I started vomiting on Friday over a week ago, and along with other typical stomach bug symptoms, I thought it was just a simple stomach flu. I didn’t have an appetite for days, and as the vomiting and diarrhoea continued for five days I finally made it to doctors, who gave me medications for something he thought I had, but it still didn’t help, so ended up back at my doctor’s on Friday morning.

This time they couldn’t get a blood pressure reading because it was so low, they got really worried, and sent me to the hospital. 9 hours of sitting around and waiting, plus tests and x-rays and all sorts later, I find out that they have no clue what caused my stomach inflammation, but told me to rest, keep taking the medication, and go home. 

By then I was pretty badly dehydrated (plus I lost 7kg of weight during the 8 days) so I just wanted to go home and hope for the best. I settled in and drank water and rested, until….my eyes swell up! I started itching everywhere, my eyelids were puffed up, and I panicked and called a health service provider who urged me to get emergency help.

In the ambulance I got given antihistamines as they thought it was an allergic reaction – this could be fatal if the tongue or throat started swelling – and took me in. Hours of waiting around in the middle of the night at a different hospital, and finally the doctor said she had no idea what had caused it, told me to see my doctor for allergy testing, and sent me home.

So I got in after 5am, two emergency rooms and two different hospitals later, and was just physically exhausted. The next morning I did feel a lot better, and my conditions continue improving! I am really worried about the rash – think it’s hives – because it just keeps reappearing in random places, and all of a sudden a part of my face just swells up :O

It has been a horrible horrible week and a half. I don’t think I have been this sick in my life, and as a former bulimic, I hate vomiting. Well, I guess everyone does, but for me it kind of brings back memories from the past and it’s just not nice. 

Being ill sucks anyway, but vomiting and diarrhoea and fever is just so unpleasant, and you get quite weak quickly. At one point I was so weak I couldn’t stand up in the shower, and it just really got to me.

I started thinking that you are never grateful for things you should be grateful for until you don’t have them…..When I was lying in this bed, waiting to vomit, with my mouth dry and head hurting I remembered how being healthy feels and I wanted nothing more than to get better again.

Being sick has reminded me of the fragility of life. After these health scares I am paranoid and a hypochondriac (well, I always have been one..) and I am just convinced I will drop dead any minute.

On top of all this, I am due to travel to Uganda in about a week’s time – I know, great timing huh??? – to start my business venture thing, and I am just shit scared, paranoid, and very anxious about the whole thing. I’ll be somewhere in the bush, what if I get an allergic reaction there??

How am I going to get travel insurance? I am a walking disaster, no one will even want to cover me!

Luckily in the middle of all this, my boyfriend has been there for me, patting my back when I puke, bringing me whatever I’ve asked for, gone to the hospital and doctor’s with me….Stayed awake just to make sure I’m okay when I fall asleep….I am lucky. I think people who have support have the highest chances of surviving whatever life throws at them.

So here we are. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I am also scared of gaining all the weight back. I have always had a thing about weight and fat, and I guess losing all this weight so quickly made me a tiny bit happy – I know it sounds sick, but I’m just honest, I will do whatever it takes to stay this weight….I would hate to get fat again………………

LittleGirl xx

 

 

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