Okay so I was diagnosed with Borderline a while ago, but then what? I googled it a few times and felt like finally something could explain me. How I felt and what I was like as a person.
I haven’t really read too much about it since, or asked questions, or really tried to figure things out as I concentrate on my therapy and somehow think that once I get better, so will the symptoms of the borderline personality disorder.
But something prompted me to dig deeper – and I can only thank my blog! I recently got an email about a new follower, and I clicked on her blog and felt like I’d come home! So thank you, Jaen Wirefly, for your posts! I found the one on the front page right now the most useful, it is like…amazing! Thank you! You are speaking to my heart and I feel …like I am not alone. Like my craziness CAN BE explained! Like, it’s OK to be like this because of the disorder…
I’m also pretty certain – 99% sure in fact – that I have this disorder because of my childhood. I cannot think how someone who endured sexual abuse, and the kind of violent and abrupt home life that I had, could come out completely “normal” (I don’t think there is such a thing as normal – just variations of averages, and continuum of functionality and ability to lead a culturally and socially acceptable life)
I also think I had anorexia (and bulimia) at 16 because of my childhood, I have been depressed for however many years, and I have low self-esteem and all sorts of other issues.
Nice, isn’t it. Blaming everything else but myself. I feel kind of funny “explaining away” my mental problems, but then on the other hand there must be a reason for all this? Who knows. But for now, in the midst of the most horrendous headache ever, I will continue reading your blog, Jaen.