In my moment of midnight madness I am compelled to jot down my good feelings. I was just cleaning my room, tidying around the messiness, and got to thinking about the things that I do love in my life and the things and people that I appreciate.
To my ex boyfriend, I love you. I do. The crazy things we have experienced together, the looks that you have given me, and the way I felt about waking up next to you in the mornings are the moments I will forever cherish in my heart.
I love the thoughtful presents you have given me – you have a good heart unlike me who only gives useful pressies (sheets!). You think with your heart, and that is a beautiful part of your character that I haven’t seen in any other man that I have ever met.
I love that you cried when I told you about the abuse, that you have taken my pain seriously, and dried the tears that have fallen on my cheeks. I love that you stood by my broken heart and made me talk about my feelings. I love that you always made love feel special, made me like my body and brought me out of the hatred I have felt towards myself. You have made me feel proud of who and what I am, and for that I love you.
I love my memories of the travels I have done. The tropical heat, the white sandy beaches, the coral reefs, elephants, lions and monkeys that I have seen. The people that have shared their homes with me, a stranger, and taken me in and loved me as one of their own.
I love the beauty that this world captures in immaculate crystals, newborn babies, wild horses, and freshly brewed espresso. I love the aromas of coriander and cinnamon, the softness of fresh cotton sheets, and the healing powers of deep-tissue massage.
I love the thought of one day becoming a mother, raising a child, teaching a new human being the skills of life. I yearn to look into the eyes of a child that I brought into the world, watcher her take her first steps, and protect her from all evil along the way.
I love my ability to love, to feel deep in my heart the emotions of passion, attachment and adoration. I pray that I stay this way, for without love we’d be an empty shell. To love is to live the life God gave us, and to love I will until death do us apart.
LittleGirl x x