Another year has gone…

I woke up to my birthday in a cold room in North London – luckily my boyfriend had come back from his trip late last night so I hadn’t slept all alone in the darkness.

I am ill. The cough, headache, feeling run down and ill have lasted for days now and I really did not feel like getting up at 7am to get ready for therapy. This is my second week of the intensive psychoanalytic psychotherapy and it is going…ok I guess, very strange to have to lie down there staring at the walls, having to start the conversation. I think I’m progressing though – I started off from sitting on the chair, then after the first session I sat on the edge of the couch and yesterday I was ready to lie down and do what I’m supposed to be doing.

After therapy I decided to come home – in my company, people with birthdays are sung to with a cake and a card at the end of the work day, so I was kind of looking forward to that, yet the people I sit with in my department are all gone (well there is only the three of us, and one moved back home, one is sick, and one has a day off) so I would be all alone and no one would even remember it’s my birthday, so I decided to come home and work from my couch.

It’s hard to concentrate when you’re really tired. I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in about a week until he came back last night at midnight, so of course we chatted until 2am. I just wish I could even take a day off sick or something, but no. Gotta work. Oh well, I’ll do it my way from lying on the couch with the laptop on my lap, drinking mint tea 🙂

I am still so confused about the therapies. Lots of thoughts in my head. What should I choose? I ask that, but I guess I have made up my mind to continue the intensive therapy and at least try hold on to that as I haven’t been hugely successful in ever hanging on to any therapy before. I have even booked a waxing appointment for Friday when I usually see my counselor, so I guess a gentle email to her telling that I’ll never see her again will have to do…..


PS. just turned 8…oops I mean 28 🙂



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