April has finally come round, and we are looking at a lot of public holidays (at least in the UK!) including a day off for the Royal Wedding 🙂
I have a lot on my mind, but again I struggle with where to start; I don’t consider myself an amazing writer or anything, but structure and clear arguments with emotion and passion would definitely make my blog a much more interesting piece of reading.
When I started this little journey of writing posts along the way from the bottom of the pit to mental, spiritual and physical healing, I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to accomplish with it.
Now, months later, I realize that things have not gone according to the original idea and plan that I did have; I had wanted to at least try to blog on a regular basis, and I had also wanted to develop this to become a forum within which I’d raise an issue or a topic, and people would respond and it would get them talking.
Instead, I have gone on and on about my feelings, most of which have been quite negative. And it is really draining to be in that negative space where complaints fall our of your mouth much easier than praises.
Hence when I look back at my blog, I realize that it’s quite dark in sentiment, and it surprises me, as even without clear plans, I would have never wanted this to a space for bitching about how bad my life is.
I guess I am in a different place now than when I started. Life was gloomy; I didn’t have a job, a relationship, many friends, I was actively spending time thinking about and processing the abuse that had taken place 20 years earlier, and not much else fitted in my head.
Maybe this blog has not contributed much to my healing, but at least it now allows me to spread the message of hope – right now in this moment, I feel hopeful and inspired, and my thoughts are filled with excitement for the future, and that’s really the only thing that can lift you up from misery.
As Christopher Reeve once said, “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”